But it’s not worth an hour of your time, let alone days. It’s a playground, not a series of objectives, and no high score can hide that. If one were so inclined, Goat Simulator could go on forever. I played the game on PS4, where it costs $10. Not to keep coming back to movies (comedy games are something of a rarity, so I have to look outwards) but I wouldn’t spend full price on a film that gives away its best jokes in the trailer, no matter how funny those jokes were. However, I cannot imagine the people who “get” Goat Simulator will be okay with paying for the experience. And that’s fine! I can sit here telling you that Goat Simulator is just not that amusing for the rest of my life, and that won’t register with half of my audience. ![]() The jokes I found so tickling absolutely failed to play with the rest of the audience. I have a vivid memory of watching Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom in a packed theater and being the only person laughing along. The game’s core joke is difficult to criticize because humor is subjective one man’s guffaw is another man’s blank stare. (You can perform ‘manuals’ by flicking the stick back and forth and then trying to balance the goat on its front legs. It wasn’t hilarious, but it was something to break up my numerous attempts at nailing the manual challenge. I used the modifiers as ripcords throughout my playthrough - when things got too dull, I would hit the jetpack button and watch as the goat flew around in slow-motion. The jetpack is chuckle-worthy and the VR modifier is an unyielding nightmare straight out of a PG-rated Hellraiser. There are a bunch of modifiers, some of which are fun to play with for approximately ten minutes. Feats of skill in a game with frustrating controls are certainly impressive, but that doesn’t make the struggle any fun. Collectibles litter the map (including a handful you need for achievements) and some of them would be challenging to acquire in a superior title. This is ostensibly part of the game’s larger gag, there’s even a button dedicated to entering a ragdoll state. Herein lies Goat Simulator‘s Achilles’ Heel - it plays like trash. The achievement list can be a help if you’re looking for things to do, but some are so obtuse that you’re better off trying to explore the world. There are unique things to do in the world - like finding EDM musician deadmau5 and licking him - that earn both points and an achievement on your platform of choice. Licking people is worth a handful of points, for example. These challenges help boost your score, much like almost everything else in the game. From there, the game provides the player with little challenges, like pressing the ‘Baa’ button or running on a wall for a certain period of time. It’s a clever subversion of standard game tutorials, and it will be the last time I use the word ‘clever’ in this review. When you start Goat Simulator, the game’s four-legged protagonist is dropped into an ordinary town and tasked with jumping over a fence. Release Date: Ap(PC) / Septem(Android/iOS) / Ap(Xbox One/360) / Aug(PS3/PS4) Goat Simulator (Android, iOS, PC, PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One) ![]() Regardless of whether you find Goat Simulator’s core gag amusing, it’s hard to ignore the price to content ratio. I spent a good 4-5 hours wringing the game dry, and I was reaching for entertainment around the 20 minute mark. ![]() Of course, this does not apply if you’re under some kind of obligation to see a majority of the game’s content like I was. You’re a goat! Everything is broken! From there, it’s up to the player to decide whether there are further punchlines to be delivered. In theory, Goat Simulator benefits from this structure. If you’ve wrung every possible guffaw out of a game within the first half-hour, you can just close it and move on with your life. There’s something to be said for games that revolve around a single joke.
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